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Science & The Supernatural: A Discussion of the World Around us - Based on Science with an Interest in the Supernatural ...
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 Post subject: Influences.
PostPosted: 08 Jul 2008, 10:42 
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Grand Poobah
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They surround us at all times. Those of us who are parents, probably pay close attention to those which surround our children. We monitor who they play with, who they date, what they listen to, where they surf, what they watch, sometimes subtly, sometimes with punishments. Because we believe that their surroundings influence the people they are and will become.

In good ways and in bad.

But what do we do for ourselves?

Why do we seem to assume that we are 'grownups', and thus are immune to being influenced?

Why do we verbally spar with people in pub like atmospheres in ways we'd be ashamed of our children doing? Why do we watch TV that shows people behaving in ways that we'd never allow in our house? (seriously, would any of us befriend Raymond?) Why do we keep friends who are hateful ande negative and do nothing but complain?

I do all of these. I go to message board I do not like to read things I do not like in order to, supposedly, keep up with a few people who post there. I watch TV of people I would never be friends with. I listen to radio stations that piss me off. I have friends who depress me just by chatting on the phone.

Am I being influenced to be more abrasive and cynical by these choices?

How can I deny it?

Why do I allow it?

I'm beginning to make choices. I'm pm'ing people my email, to keep in touch, instead of going to places I don't like. I'm turning off tv and watching movies I prefer. I'm calling and emailing those friends whoa re always upbeat and positive, and trying to be up beat and positive in return to cynicsism and irritation.

Why is it hard?

Any one else feel like this?

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 08 Jul 2008, 11:57 
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My husband plays Grand Theft Auto. I won't watch it. I just don't want to see people treated with random violence, even if it is fake.

Last night, we were watching Family Guy. Peter didn't want the paraplegics in his bar because they weren't cool. I thought that wasn't cool. I certainly didn't think it was funny. I changed the channel.

I have acquaintances who use racial epithets. I tell them that I don't want to hear that sort of bullshit. They will not become friends.

I avoided much contact with my father for the past eight years. His wife was absolutely crazy. I have enough crazy, so I just backed out. Last month, he realized that she is actually certifiable. Of course, now it's going to cost him some serious money.

Every choice we make changes who we are and how we live. So, I am very contentious about my influences. Life is hard enough without letting in the dark.


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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 08 Jul 2008, 12:03 
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Grand Poobah
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I thought you'd have dealt with this. Your moniker sorta gives it away.

That's more of the attitude I want to cultivate, but I keep sliding into bitterness and sludge.

On the one hand, I can justify it by looking at it and saying 'wow, I'm glad I don't live like that', but on the other, I shouldn't be wasting my time.

that's one reason for having threads like 'life's little victories' here--- to try and promote the positive, rather than the negative.

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 08 Jul 2008, 12:35 
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Right now I am choosing to brush the teeth of one of my puppies. His breath smells like old, hot catfish.

This is not good.


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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 08 Jul 2008, 13:03 
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Bright Life wrote:
Right now I am choosing to brush the teeth of one of my puppies. His breath smells like old, hot catfish.

This is not good.


But fresh dog breath is good better, right? :cheeky:

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 11 Jul 2008, 09:16 
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The peanut butter worked better than the toothpaste.

Oh, another nasty thing I refuse to patronize with my time...

That "lie Detector" show on FOX. Purposefully hurting the ones you love for MONEY??? That's a giant-assed WTF for me.


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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 11 Jul 2008, 09:33 
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The Baby Borrowers got me.

How can you let your child be used in an experiment like that? That would have a PhD in Psych brought up on charges, but for money? it's ok? :banghead: :banghead:

There was one scene where the teen pulled the child across the room by its arm. WTF?

Why is no one screaming abuse?

We don't watch much non kid/ non PBS stuff here, and when I want cotton candy for my eyes, I turn it on. But there is nothing to watch except bad sitcoms and realtiy shows.

:(

I've been pulling out movies and recorded tv lately. The state of TV is terrible. I mean, if I don't want my boy watching it, why should I let myself? It'd be like making him eat healthy and downing a bag of chips instead of veggies... myself...

not that I've ever done that...

:angel1:

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 11 Jul 2008, 10:47 
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Geez, I hadn't seen that one!

FOX or ABC, I'm guessing?


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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 11 Jul 2008, 22:56 
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I am not sure when it happens hopefully sooner than later that we realize sometimes certain people just dont fit anymore, akin to weeding your garden. Sure the roses are beautiful but they are thorny and high maitenance....so maybe the daylilies and daisy's are a much better fit, at least simpler anyways. That kind of thing.....after my year long spiritual quest self discovery or midlife crisis to "find myself".... I came to the conclusion that some of my pals were just draining me of my energy, not that they meant to, its just that we didn't coincide on issues that were important to me on a core level, like parenting, social issues, and yes even religion etc etc . Or gees some of my friends from high school still party like we did 20 years ago. Or a bff that bitched non stop about her flower-hole alcoholic hubby and preached" you only stand for what you tolerate" HUH? I got to questioning how authentic our relationships really were and based on. Or family members that just aint cool and are just f-ing nuts. /time to let go of the baggage!
I am better off for weeding my garden, the only things that are left are the people I love whole heartedly and are fun uplifting/inspiring people, not just tolerate because of some social etiquette. The hobbies I enjoy and the household stuff that I truly use, not just have. Life is just more simpler. I have more time with my hubby and kids and that is priceless.

Now as far as tv goes....I love That 70's Show.

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 12 Jul 2008, 10:49 
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Me too, Otter!

I'm totally with you on the weeding. I've got drama in my family garden like summer zucchinis!


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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 12 Jul 2008, 20:06 
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We're not there yet.

Can't just cut them out....

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 12 Jul 2008, 23:06 
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I totally get what you mean, there are some I still see on occasions like family get togethers, community functions, birthdays I just no longer seek them out or keep in touch with them on a more personal level. and It helps to keep the intent of not taking anything they say personal.

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 13 Jul 2008, 11:35 
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Grand Poobah
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Otter, do you ever make choices based on your kids' future and relationships with your family?






(should we split out family chat from influences chat?)

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 13 Jul 2008, 11:51 
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I guess I dont understand your question?

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 Post subject: Re: Influences.
PostPosted: 13 Jul 2008, 12:03 
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I mean, do you ever change how you personally deal with family because you don't want your child to miss out on something family related?

We went 2 years without seeing my in-laws, and only started seeing them again because of our son. So, I'm looking as to what you'd do?

We haven't seen them since December now, and that's because we're all 'too busy'. Which is a shame. But how much out of our way should we go so they can see our boy?

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