jess wrote:
Hey, The God Petrich, would you want to put your incredible skillz to work and do up King David (of Bathsheba fame, dad of Solomon) on the Profile?
I've heard he should be pretty low, which is 'proof' he's historic, and I'm curious...
I'll help if you need details...
Thanx for the offer, but biblegateway.com and Wikipedia should do just fine. In the Bible, it's 1 Samuel 16 to 1 Kings 2.
1. The hero's mother is a royal virgin;
She's not mentioned in the Bible, though the Talmud identifies her as Nizbeth daughter of Adael: 0
2. His father is a king, and
Jesse son of Obed is an undistinguished commoner: 0
3. Often a near relative of his mother, but
4. The circumstances of his conception are unusual, and
5. He is also reputed to be the son of a god.
6. At birth an attempt is made, usually by his father or his maternal grandfather, to kill him, but
7. He is spirited away, and
8. Reared by forest parents in a far country.
9. We are told nothing of his childhood, but
No hint of any of that: 0
10. On reaching manhood he returns to goes to his future kingdom.
He was always in his kingdom: 0
11. After a victory over the king, and/or a giant, dragon, or wild beast,
Goliath: 1
King Saul had chosen him to lead his armies, David leads his armies against the Philistines in several battles, and Saul gets jealous and plots to kill him.
12. He marries a princess, often the daughter of his predecessor, and
He marries several women: Michal, Ahinoam, Abigail, Maachah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah and Bathsheba. Michal is a daughter of Saul: 1
13. Becomes king.
After Saul commits suicide to avoid getting captured, David gets appointed king by the men of Judah: 1
14. For a time he reigns uneventfully, and
He has a long fight with Saul's son Ish-bosheth and his followers, and after defeating them, he conquers the Jebusite fortress Jebus (Jerusalem), making it his capital. He leads several more conquests, he brings the Ark of the Covenant into Jerusalem, and he has a sex scandal involving Bathsheba. He then suppresses some rebellions and suffers through God's dislike of statistics, among other things: 0
15. Prescribes laws, but
Nothing notable: 0
I doubt that being a singer-songwriter would count.
16. Later loses favor with the gods and/or his subjects, and
In his old age, his son Adonijah declares himself king: 1/2
17. Is driven from the throne and city, after which
Bathsheba and Nathan convince David to make his son Solomon king instead. David even gives final instructions to Solomon: 1/2
18. He meets a mysterious death,
19. Often at the top of a hill.
No sign of either: 0
20. His children, if any, do not succeed him.
Solomon: 0
21. His body is not buried, but nevertheless
He is indeed buried: 0
22. He has one or more holy sepulchres
None mentioned: 0
King David's Lord Raglan score: 4